Once I had identified the one thing I can do to make Ricardo feel noticed and appreciated, I found myself tuning out the distractions of electronics and it was just easier to listen. For those few times I just couldn't drop what I was doing, I found there was a little voice inside me telling me that it was important to listen. I also found that in being in the moment, I learned a lot about him and he really did surprise me with some of the things he had to say. It was super gratifying to hear that he appreciated me lending an ear once in a while.
Never stop courting 4 out of 5 Stars
Although I could have done more to be the perfect Gentlewoman, I actually LIKED doing the little things for Ricardo. When you are with someone for so long, you know when they are truly happy, and I noticed the little smirks here and there. I did like surprising him with getting his coffee instead of the usual "get it yourself" lecture. It was truly relieving to let go of all the expectations of having a perfect rom-com movie man and to like him just as he is.The obstacle will be to continue this without my ego convincing me that he is taking advantage. This is when appreciation becomes imperative.
BE SILLY 5 out of 5 Stars
With this goal, I definitely shined. Once I started bringing out the humour in our day to day life, it was easy to let go of the stress and laugh! I actually discovered that me and Ricardo basically have a very similar sense of humour. We just weren't enjoying it as much as we should. This also made phone calls much more interesting than the typical "What's for dinner?" conversation.
ALWAYS SEE THE BEST 3 out of 5 Stars
Since we just started this I can't give myself a 5. I can't even begin to explain how effective this goal is for our relationship. I found that once I got creative with showing my appreciation for the little things he does, suddenly he was reciprocating all his appreciation back to me. Positive energy feeding more positive energy. Then BAM! Friday's date night felt like we were two kids crazy in love again.
Marriage is not easy, and don’t interpret this as Marriage sucks. All that is truly amazing in this world is hard work. A young 20’s something with a six pack isn’t exactly that hard, but you take a 60 year old woman with an incredible body, #trulyamazing !! This person is going to be your life team mate, your personal life coach and your business partner. Wouldn’t it make sense to put a little time and effort into the relationship? I refer to our home as the DeOliveira business. Our business plan includes both persons hopes and dreams (bucket list), financial plan, strategies and goals and a whole lotta communication.
I do feel like in this day and age marriage is looked at totally different than it did 20 or 30 years ago. Freedom was very limited for our parent and grandparents. They simply got married to free themselves from their parent’s authority to live on their own. This day and age we have so much choice with the freedom as to whom or when we get married or if we want to marry at all. I admit I have succumbed myself to the tradition this society has programmed into us. I also admit that I was in the position to do everything in my power to make sure that Ricardo and I were to spend our lives together (if he would have me of course).
Now that I taken all my + Energy from January and combined it with my jumpstart connection with Ricardo, I do feel a change in the energy field at home. I won't say I have a permanent smile on my face, but it is definitely much easier to identify when I am feeling negative and positive. One key ingredient is to realize that angry is just a feeling and we need to deal with it without letting it hurt what we have been working towards. I feel quick to let go of the bad and very open to the good. What surprised me the most was how all of this is projecting onto Ricardo. I won't say he is making any major changes in his life, however his comments have changed tremendously. Nothing inspires me more than him looking straight in my eye telling me to enjoy my life. Onto my next chapter I go...
Happy Vid of The Month
"Don't Worry, Be Happy" is a song by musician Bobby McFerrin. Released in September 1988, it became the first a cappella song to reach number one on the Billboard Hot 100 chart, a position it held for two weeks. The song's title is taken from a famous quote by Meher Baba.
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